Shattered and Alone
by PrincessThunderquake
Summary: Gwen's history is revealed on a night down by the dock. Rated T for sexual references.


Shattered and Alone

_Just as a quick disclaimer, I do __**not**__ own any of the Total Drama series. If I did, there probably wouldn't have been a new cast in season four. Just saying. _

The sun began to set once again on Muskoka, Ontario bringing peace to all who could experience it. The birds flew to nest in the trees and the forest creatures retreated to their dens and burrows to spend the night. On a certain island, a group of thirty seven young adults were making their way to the comforts of their rooms, finally able to relax after a long day. These teens were the famous, and infamous, cast of the hit reality show Total Drama, or at least, they used to be. A new season had started and that had apparently meant a whole new cast along with it. Some of the group was upset at the new development, although not too shocked. If there was anything that they all had learned from participating in the show was that one of the most important things to its host was ratings. Chris McLean was an extremely selfish man, that was well known, and in order to keep the show fresh and increase ratings, new faces were necessary.

Seasoned vets like the first season cast were good and all, but their time in the spotlight was slowly fading. Their drama was becoming old news and, if they didn't do something scandalous soon, they would fade off into obscurity. Of course, there were quite a few in the group who would love for the media to stop harassing them. One such contestant was a teenage girl who stayed seated on the dock of the mega Total Drama resort, Playa de Losers. The wind that drifted off of the water pulled at the girl's multi colored hair, causing the strands to dance in the wind.

Seeing her by her lonesome was a usual occurrence no matter where she went, as she seemed to prefer it this way. Such was the life of Gwen, the only Goth amongst the entire cast, and what a lonely life it was. As she stared out towards the large body of water, the pale girl released a dejected sigh. With her head resting in her hands and her elbows atop her knees, her thoughts began to drift back to everything that happened over the past couple of years. She remembered her first day coming to Camp Wawanakwa and how she immediately regretted it. All of it was just supposed to be a joke, her signing up for the reality show in the first place, but somehow she was picked to be on it.

She hated the place immediately, as it was filled with nothing but disgusting living arrangements, horrible food, insane challenges and, worst of all, fake people. The people of the show were what really got to her, as they weren't exactly her ideal crowd. It seemed that everywhere she went she was surrounded by some loud, obnoxious person who would always be in her way. The guys were perverted and gross; always hitting on the girls wearing skimpy outfits that showed off their boobs. The girls were just as bad; having nothing to say but the same peppy girl crap, gossip and catty remarks.

Sure, she eventually found some people who weren't total fakers and actually cared about other's feelings, but unfortunately the bad began to outweigh the good. In the very beginning of the show, Gwen was, to put it mildly, less than happy with the situation. She already knew from the second she stepped off of that boat that she was going to hate it here. Shows like these always had the same stereotyped people from the popular mean girl to the "rad party dude". Sadly, this show fit that cast to a tee. Everyone that had stepped on the dock was generally the type of person the Goth avoided.

Heather was a definite pain in the ass, your typical back stabbing hot chick with a grudge against anyone who didn't conform to her ideas. The raven haired Queen Bee never stopped to take anyone else's opinions into consideration; just powered forward into whatever plan she wanted despite how it hurt others. Of course, her being a double threat made her despicable, her beauty and brains being a force to be reckoned with. The only people who were worse were those who only possessed the former pf those two things, just because they were so irritating. People like Lindsay, Justin and that new girl Dakota.

They honestly believed that their looks are all they need to get ahead in life. Usually funded by "daddy's money", those snobby, pretty kids, in some ways, did have the dream life. Gwen chuckled as she envisioned what would happen when their parents couldn't take care of them anymore. The money dries up or the parents become deceased, they eventually have to be on their own. They had no idea of what their parents did so there is no chance that they can earn a living for themselves. But the real fun part for the Goth girl was when their looks fade. Oh yes, when their god like faces turn into a wasteland that only held traces of the former glory of what it used to be, was when it was comically sad.

And how could she forget the jocks, the meat heads that were gifted and chose to use those gifts to belittle others. So what you can run an elongated dead pig skin down a field, with enough practice, anyone could do it. Why did they think that they were so special just because they could throw a ball into a hoop? And why did they believe that those traits gave them power to "rule" over some else's life? Gwen could tell you from experience that all jocks were nothing but loser jerks who cared about nothing but themselves. Just recalling the memory stung her deep in her sheltered heart and caused it to ache.

It all began in her freshman year of high school, a time that was supposed to mark a new experience in her life. This was a time before her walls were raised, before the dark clothes and make up and far before the loner attitude. Gwen was a bright girl with shoulder length ebony hair, matching eyes that shimmered with a youthful vitality and a bounding spirit. Her cheeks held a bright pink hue that stood out from her slightly pale complexion, earning her the nickname Snowy.

With her head high and her bag full of books the cheerful youngster walked into that school with unshakeable confidence. If only she knew the soul shattering pain that she would experience in the following weeks to come. A month after her introduction to teen-hood was she hit by the one thing that changes a teenage girl's life: a crush. His name was Tyson Barker and, to put it simply, he was perfection incarnate. Standing at a regal 6'3, his wavy brown hair flowed over his shoulders and framed his chiseled face as well as bringing out his vivid blue eyes.

He was a god among men and was wanted by practically every girl in that school, hell; even a few of the teachers had to admit that he was a good looking young man. Of course, Gwen figured that she would never be one of the lucky girls to be courted on Tyson's arm, she was just too ordinary. All of his past girlfriends had some trait that made them different, something that made them memorable. There was Jacqueline, the leggy red head biker chick with a mouth as bad as her attitude. And Chelsea, the sunny blond environmentalist with big green eyes and an even bigger, firmer butt. Oh, and who could forget Michelle, the dazzling Latin girl with a size A heart but a size DD chest.

Each one of those girls had something that Gwen just did not: a figure. She was small in every aspect of the word, being only an A cup with a thin waste and a short legs, she was far from Tyson's usual type. She always felt that she would never be good enough, that she was destined to stay alone forever. Seeing him in the halls left her feeling a bittersweet pain echo in her very core. This pain occurred every day for two months, growing stronger and stronger each time, until one fated day.

On her way to her second block, Gwen stopped by her locker to retrieve her AP English book. English was one of her favorite classes, second only to art, and she was excited to get to it. As she was leaving her storage cabinet, she accidentally ran into something hard and warm yet, fleshy with a slight give. Looking up, her dark eyes met gleaming cerulean complemented by an olive skin tone. Her mind needed no further amount of time to recognize just who it was she ran into. Like a broken faucet, her pale pink lips and quivering voice began to stutter out a string of apologies.

A gentle laugh and a strong hand on her shoulder was enough to cease the deluge of verbal diarrhea. There was just something about Tyson's strong, lilting baritone that soothed the small girl into a state of dreamy silence. It felt as though she were dreaming as he spoke to her, the hand that continued to rest on her shoulder setting a blazing fire throughout her body. However, no matter how deep in dreamland she was, she could still hear the magical words that the jock spoke to her. He had asked her on a date, Tyson Barker, had asked her out. She could barely contain her excitement but managed to control it as long as she stayed in his presence.

Gwen had managed to stay composed for the duration of the exchange; her body shivering lightly with excitement. As he left, the young teen waited a moment until she was sure that she was alone before unleashing an uncharacteristic squeal. The amount of joy coursing through her at that moment was appareled to anything she had felt before. After the school day was over, Gwen literally ran home in order to inform her mother of her date and to have time to prepare. This would have been the first date that she had ever gone on and she was determined to make it perfect.

The next evening, a Saturday, was the scheduled date and both mother and daughter were bustling to finish the preparations. With only minutes to spare, the finishing touches were added to Gwen's outfit and she was finally ready. She was adorned in a flowing knee length black dress, its middle accentuated by a darling diamond studded belt. Her hair was curled in night black spirals that bounced with every step she took, framing her ivory shin much better than any picture frame. Smoky eye shadow decorated her onyx orbs and light pink gloss painted her lips. Lastly, her feet were fitted in a pair of black roman sandals, the heels only at three inches since she wanted to be comfortable as well as beautiful.

Just as she tied off the strap of her left shoe did the doorbell ring out. Instantly, Gwen's stomach dropped to her knees and she began to hyperventilate. Her panicked mind ran through any possible options to stall, convincing the girl that she was not ready. However, Gwen's mother made the decision for her and answered the door. Tyson stood on the other side, hair combed perfectly, in a navy blue suit with a white dress shirt and matching blue tie. Both females were taken aback. Gwen because she had always pictured this moment that was now coming true, and her mother because she had never seen a young man so handsome before.

Naturally, they were held from their date by Gwen's mother asking a plethora of questions and taking just as many pictures. Once they could step out of the house without going blind via flash, they made their way to Tyson's car: a blue corvette. Of course Gwen knew that he came from a well off family, but she never thought that he would have something like this. He opened the door on her side with a cheesy bow, guided her inside and closed it after her. With one last wave goodbye to her mom, the dolled up teen was whisked away to a night she would never forget.

The whole affair had been wonderful, composed of a delicious dinner at one of the finest restaurants in the city, followed by a movie and dancing. It was the stuff of Hollywood for Gwen and she couldn't be happier. Alas, the hours were waning hastily and she knew she would have to head home soon before her mother grew worried. Stepping back into Tyson's blue motored chariot, Gwen couldn't help but make small side glances in the direction of the boy of her dreams. It had to be a crime for anyone to be that handsome, and if it were, he would be sentenced to life without parole.

The blue of his eyes was so clear; they reminded her of the waters she would see in those pictures of exotic islands. His tanned skin looked as if the rays of the sun emanated from within his core, so warm and inviting, just waiting to be touched. And his hair, a perfect mahogany brown so luscious that Gwen just wanted to run her fingers through it. She felt like the luckiest girl in the world at that moment; absolutely nothing could bring her down right then. Tyson, for the most part, pretended to not notice his snow white date checking him out from her side of the vehicle, but he could feel her eyes on him.

The moment was just right; if he wanted his plan to work he had to act now. Making a wrong turn, Tyson began driving to the slightly more rural part of the city. Gwen started when she realized that they had not made the intended turn and began to get nervous. As she opened her mouth to protest, the brunette placed his hand gently on the section of her leg that shown through the slit in her dress. Those hands, they felt so warm, and when she looked into his eyes, Gwen fell into a near trance. Whatever he was doing, he seemed confident that it was a good idea, so she went along with it.

Ten minutes later, Tyson stopped the car near the top of a hill that overlooked the town. Gwen was amazed at the view; the lights shimmering like stars from the heavens that only they could see. With her face pressed up against her window, she was unable to see Tyson's eyes travelling up and down her body. Her pale back, visible because that section of her dress was missing, tantalized the young man, fueling his thoughts of what other places on her were so milky white and soft. The back returned just above her back end and the jock wanted nothing more than to touch it. His hand seemed to gravitate on its own toward his unsuspecting date; inching closer and closer with each passing second.

Before he could claim his prize, however, Gwen whipped her head around to meet his gaze. Instantly, the glaze in his eyes disappeared and he moved his hand to make it look as if he had been about to rest it around her head rest. The ecstatic loner began gushing about how beautiful the place was and how she had never seen anything like it. Releasing a chuckled to mask his frustration, Tyson regaled her about how he found this place and how he would spend a lot of quality time there with just his thoughts and nature. Gwen was in awe, she had never met another person so emotionally invested in life and its wonders.

She no longer felt alone, like some outcast who would never be understood. She finally found her other half, her one and only love. Gwen's eyes sparkled with unshed tears of joy as she continued to stare into Tyson's half lidded ones. His hand moved to touch her cheek, tenderly stroking it, as he moved nearer to her. With reflexes as quick as lightning, Tyson's lips found their way to Gwen's, gently bushing against the soft pink flesh. Gwen's eyelids flew open at the sudden sensation of another's lips on hers.

She had never kissed anyone else before, only fantasized of what it would feel like. And what she was feeling right now, was far better than what her imagination could conjure up. Focusing on Tyson's face, Gwen could see that his eyes were closed, enjoying the kiss even more than she was. Following his lead, she closed her eyes and just fell into it, the butterflies in her stomach dissipating like mist in the wind. All was normal until the nature of the kiss changed. Tyson started getting more aggressive, the light brushing gaining more force and movement.

Soon he was suckling on her upper lip as she suckled his bottom. Tyson had expected the lip gloss she was wearing to have one of the flavors that all girls seemed to like. He had seen that it was pink so his mind had thought of something along the lines of cherry, strawberry or even watermelon. What greeted him, however, was something surprising, yet, not too shocking. The tangy zing of sour green apple and the sweetness of bubblegum assaulted his tongue. A strange combination to say the least, but an astoundingly pleasant one at that; it only spurred him to go further.

His other unoccupied hand made its way around the two and onto Gwen's bare back. The feel of his lightly calloused hand against her skin made her spine tingle. Gwen's already rosy blush grew in intensity, transitioning from pink to flaming red. Tyson made small, abstract patterns along her shoulder blades and delicately scratched his finger nails down her spine. The ebony clad beauty found her chest leaning against her date, a squeaky moan resonating from her throat. Her toes curled in the confines of her sandals and her hands, once resting on Tyson's hands, moved steadily up his arms and onto his shoulders.

It all felt so surreal, the sensations made Gwen feel… tingly throughout her body and her mind grew hazy. If she had to guess, this was probably what those stoner kids felt like when they smoked weed behind the school. While she may never do drugs like those, this was one she could get used to. She could feel his had running up and down her back, from above her bottom to her middle back and landing on… the clasp of her dress? Gwen's shadowed eyes flew open and she pushed herself away from Tyson, a look of shock etched on her face.

As for Tyson, he was left kissing air for a few seconds until he noticed that those set of bittersweet lips were gone. He could tell that Gwen was nervous, but, he thought that she would have _at least_ made out with someone before. Sighing once more, the frisky brunette began calming the frazzled girl's nerves. He wasn't going to get anywhere with her like this. The jittery ones were always frustrating in the beginning, but, he always managed to get what he wanted. And, in this instance, he _needed _her, here and now.

Putting on his caring, nice guy act, Tyson apologized to Gwen before going into lines that seemed to be memorized. Going on about how sorry he was and how he didn't want to make her uncomfortable. Then, there was his favorite, the bashful asking if she wanted to just go home. By making it her decision, he still seemed like the good guy, an important guise that he had to maintain. It's not like he was worried that she would say yes, girls like her didn't want to jeopardize what they thought they had, and would do anything to keep it safe.

Of course, she did exactly as he knew she would, and refused the offer. Then she went on about how she had never done anything like that before, as if that wasn't already evident. And like the seasoned pro that he was, Tyson went to comfort her. An arm around her shoulders and a hand stroking her knee seemed to be enough to calm the young girl down. Now came the part that was somewhat tricky. With every girl that he did this with, he would always deliver the same speech about how much he truly loved her. How he had only gotten carried away by her magnificent beauty and wanted to show her how he felt.

Now Gwen was a smart girl, there was no doubting that fact, but she was struck stupid by the sheer amount of emotion that permeated the air. She was lost, with no idea what to do, just standing on a dock of hesitation without an inkling of what to do. Should she stay in her apprehension and never know what love was like, or should she surrender and step into the waters? Her answer came when she kissed Tyson one more time, this one powered by her nerves and shaky courage. If she were to step in these waters, she was going all in, so she jumped for it.

Tyson's hands became busy fumbling to undo the clasp of Gwen's dress, just as hers started to unfasten the buttons on his coat. The dark blue garment soon found its way to the floor of the vehicle, followed by a tie and soon to be accompanied by a white shirt. Before it had a chance to fall, Gwen's hands halted in place, almost as if frozen in time as her nimble fingers danced on his bare chest. Each defined line of his muscles seemed to amaze Gwen, who had never felt anything like them before. She could tell that he had worked hard to achieve every precise chisel in his body.

While Gwen was distracted by the feel of Tyson's chest and abs, said boy had managed to pop the clasp that held together her dress. With as much grace as a feather, the black straps fell from her shoulders, however, the clothing managed to stay thanks to their chests being pressed against each other. That wasn't the case for long as the two separated to remove their respective garments. Tyson eagerly tossed his shirt to the floor before gazing over at the timid girl next to him. The top of her dress had fallen to pool around her waist, but her arms were crossed in front of her chest. Apparently, she was still a little self-conscious.

No matter, one more gentle kiss and some whispered words of assurance and she was all his. That night proved to be amazing to the sheltered, loner girl. For Gwen, her first time was a magical night of passion and love, the sharing of two souls in the most intimate way possible. She had never felt so loved, so wanted, before this moment. The words he said and the way he touched were like something from a dream and the pale princess wanted nothing more than to fall in him forever.

By the time that Gwen and Tyson had reached the former's home, it was well into the early morning. She knew that she would be in quite a bit of trouble, especially if her mother found out what had occurred that night. After a walk to the door and a kiss good night, Gwen proceeded to sneak back into the house. It was eerily quiet, nothing that was too unusual for her house, but with the events of a few hours ago still present in her mind the silence was very unsettling. Her mother's room was located on the bottom floor of the two story structure, so Gwen went to check there first.

Gently pushing open the door open a crack as to not make a noise, the sneaky loner could see her mother's snoozing form underneath her comforter. Letting a smile of relief creep onto her face, Gwen closed the door as quietly as she opened it before making her way upstairs. After changing out of her dress and into her pajamas, Gwen fell back onto her plush, lilac covered bed. She couldn't believe what she had done tonight, it was just so, unreal. A tingle ran up her spine and across her shoulders as she remembered Tyson's hands gliding on her body.

She couldn't wait until their next date, would it be like this one or even more magical. It seemed that she would have to wait until then before she could find out. That night, Gwen slept better than she ever had in her life, sweet dreams of love and happiness lulling her into the best dreams her subconscious could conjure. That night, she fell asleep with a smile on her face.

Since the following two days were a weekend and Gwen knew that Tyson had a weekend job, so it was natural to not hear from him. The following week however, was when things began to get strange. That Monday, Gwen had tried to talk to Tyson about their next date, but he just blew her off. And the days after weren't any better, as she slowly began to see less and less of her dream boyfriend. On top of all of that, it seemed that every time she walked into the school, the students would always stare at her. Some of them would even laugh.

All of this was making the shy girl feel uneasy, like somehow, the strange looks and her date with Tyson were linked. It pained her slightly to think that something was going on with him, but she had to make sure that everything was ok. The first chance she got, she found Tyson so that they could talk, and she wasn't going to take 'later' for an answer. When the sports star saw her coming, he could tell by the look on her face that she wasn't going to let him get away from her without him answering her questions. To save them both the embarrassment, the brunette sent his friends off so he could talk to Gwen alone.

And of course, she came at him with the typical barrage of questions. Why didn't he call her back, why was he avoiding her and did he know what was wrong with everyone. Giving a sigh of exasperation, the blue eyed pretty boy finally gave in and broke the news. The reason why he didn't call Gwen and why he was avoiding her was because she meant nothing to him. Needless to say, this caused the ebony haired beauty to drop her jaw in shock. Tyson further explained that he could never date a girl like Gwen because she wasn't his type. He wanted a girl with a figure, one who was actually hot.

His tirade of verbal abuse only went on, but by that point, Gwen was already in tears. She couldn't believe that he was saying these things, that he felt this way. He had used her to fulfill his own selfish desires and left her to think they had something. Before she left, she had to know the answer to her last question: why was everyone laughing at her when she walked by. As she wiped the black tinted tears from her eyes, she could make out the one expression that would haunt her for the rest of her life. Tyson was actually smirking at her. This smirk had to be the definition of a condescending bastard, one who truly didn't care for the people he hurt.

Reaching into his back pocket, Tyson took out his phone and shuffled through it before stopping and pulling up a video. As soon as Gwen's onyx eyes landed on the screen, her hand flew to her mouth in horror. On the screen, she recognized the interior of Tyson's car and, as she looked to the back, she felt her stomach churn in disgust. The pale skin of her bare back was visible, accompanied by a tan hand trailing up and down its surface. Her black hair was mussed in some places, but there was no doubt that it was her.

He had taped them, had taped her, while they were in his car. But wait, if he was showing her this in order to answer her question that would mean that… He had shared it, with the entire school. Instantly, Gwen began to feel sick as she looked up back into his aqua eyes. Eyes that once used to enchant her and fill her with dreams of the future, now filled her with sadness and rage. She couldn't take it anymore, so she ran. She ran from him, from the school, and didn't stop until she reached her home.

Gwen's adrenaline finally slowed after an hour of crying in her room, not even bothered by the fact that her makeup smeared on her pillow. When her mother came home, Gwen bolted downstairs and into her waiting arms. The older woman was shocked at the sudden display of affection, but once she noticed that her daughter was crying, her instincts kicked in and she went into mom mode. After setting her young son in his room to play, Gwen's mom took her child into the living room to find out what was wrong.

As soon as Gwen calmed down enough to speak, she told her mother everything. From what she did to how Tyson treated her that day, Gwen unleashed the floodgates of emotion on her mother. The woman was stunned at what she was hearing, unbelieving that her daughter would do something like this and how she was treated. Then came the rage. How dare this little punk woo her daughter, steal her preciousness and then leave her like some three dollar hooker. If she ever had a chance to get her hands on him, she would dismember him in ways so torturous that she would be sentenced to three life sentences.

She knew that her daughter would never be able to show her face around her school again, what with how cruel kids were these days. The only other option was for the small family of three to move, so, move they did. It was hard for all of them, Gwen's brother Josh had to say goodbye to all of his friends, Gwen's mom spent the longest time finding a new job, but none of them had it harder than Gwen. She was never the same after that day; her bright outlook on life was gone. Spiraling into depression, the troubled teen began drastic measure to accommodate her new demeanor. Her once mid back length hair now stopped at her shoulders, her wardrobe turned from bright pinks and yellows into dark blues and blacks.

She always hid her face, whether behind her hair, her hoodie or both. Her smile disappeared into the recesses of her heart and was replaced by a constant frown. She talked to no one, made no friends, and kept herself constantly occupied with either her sketch book or her journal. Gwen had complete shut out the world; she just couldn't risk trusting anyone anymore. Not even her own mother was able to get through to her, which was obviously worrying the woman. Over time, Gwen's loner attitude grew bigger and bigger, becoming a wall to protect her heart.

However, there was a group of teens who seemed drawn to the depressed girl, finding her dark attitude cool and edgy. The school Goths: Marilyn, Reaper and Pixie Corpse, began to notice Gwen's dark attitude. Soon, they began to invite her to things like metal concerts and their favorite horror shows. They became the only people that she trusted outside of her family, they knew what pain felt like. Pretty soon, their influence started to rub off on Gwen. At first it began with a few band and movie posters that were, for lack of a better term, scary. Her bedroom walls went from white to black, and her carpet from beige to purple.

Assortments of dark decorations were now strung about her room, from giant tomes of Gothic literature to even a few skulls. All of the changes began to startle the budding Goth's mother, but on the other hand, her daughter was beginning to open up again. Soon, she too accepted the changes, no matter how frightening some of the things were. Next was Gwen's appearance, mainly her hair. The short tresses of ebony were now joined by streaks of teal, and they were followed by matching lipstick.

Then there was the clothing change. All of the baggy sweatshirts, t-shirts and jeans were replaced by corsets, fishnets and miniskirts. In the beginning, her mother was appalled by the choices of wardrobe, thinking tha t the new clothes would only attract the unwanted attention that they were escaping. However, despite her worries, Gwen remained perfectly fine no matter how she dressed, her frosty attitude keeping anyone from even considering asking her out. Gwen became cold towards those who did not fit into her crowd, and the ones that did respected her enough to stay just friends.

That was her life from now on, living as a Gothic ice queen and holding a certain disdain for those who represented _him_. Her life began to circle around her future, friends and family: the only important things in life anymore. The first two seemed to be going well, what with her good grades; she could attend quite a few good schools in either Canada or the States. Well, as long as they had an above average art program. And as friends went, she had developed a good solid relationship with the dark trio.

Then there was the case of her family, her barely scraping by with what her mother was making. Gwen felt a large amount of guilt, believing that it was all her fault that they were as stuck as they were. If she had only seen through Tyson's rouse then they wouldn't be in this situation. Hell, the way she looked at it, he was the whole reason she had to compete in this lame show anyway. She wondered how he felt everyday knowing he destroyed a young girl's life.

A chilling breeze blew past the teen girl and drew her attention to the fact that she was still outside. The sun had set quite some time ago, if the large crescent moon and twinkling stars were any indication. Standing up from her seat on the dock, Gwen slowly made her way back to the resort, the events of her life choices still playing in her mind. She began to recall her first time competing in Total Drama, back when they were on the island. She never would have thought that she would have made it as far as she did, but to say she didn't enjoy the thought of winning one hundred thousand dollars would have been a lie.

Even still, that wasn't the crazy part; it was when she started making more friends that was truly weird to the dark angel. Never in her life did she think that she would talk to, let alone make friends with girls like Bridgette and Leshawna. The surfer girl was far too on the bright and happy side for Gwen's tastes, but she was honest and clean. She wasn't some rich bitch whore who slept around for the sake of being popular, she was herself, and that was likeable in and of itself. And Leshawna was the same way, albeit, a little more forward. She told you exactly what you needed to hear, whether you liked it or not, and she listened to your problems.

Both girls were true blue friends who you could rely on to be there for you when you absolutely needed them to be. She could never thank them enough for the friendship and kindness they bestowed upon her. As Gwen set foot in the giant hotel, the sounds of cheering and laughing drew her attention to the room down the hall. Turning right, Gwen soon came to the giant rec room that was currently filled with young adults. Everyone had to be there, from uptight control freaks like Courtney, who sipping her drink in the corner and flirting with Scott, to oddballs like Mike and Zoey, who were dancing on the make shift dance floor.

Even a still mutated Dakota could be seen through the open glass doors leading outside the hotel bobbing her head to the music and watching Sam play a video game. All of them were there, partying and having a good time, but no one seemed to have invited Gwen. The Goth girl wasn't that surprised, seeing as she had fallen from quite a few people's graces. Besides, she was used to not being invited to parties that she knew everyone else would be attending.

Releasing a deep sigh, Gwen turned back to the main entrance way and began to ascend the stairs to her room. A bitter chuckle escaped her throat as she thought about how often she took stairs during times of emotional distress. Reaching the second floor, the fallen idol made her way left and to the end of the hall, finally reaching her room. Just in time too, as a heavy yawn escaped her and her eyelids began to droop. Stepping in and locking the door behind her, Gwen started removing her clothes of the day and making her way to the private bathroom that every contestant had.

Seeing everyone downstairs had gotten Gwen thinking of the past relationships she had with some of the contestants. Immediately Trent had come to mind. Even if she hadn't known she had one, Trent was actually the type of guy that she had wanted to date. He was cool and smooth, with a sensitive side that was actually genuine. He understood her on an emotional level and didn't judge based on her looks or hard exterior. If Gwen had to take a guess, she would bet that he was actually in love with her, and well, she was with him.

It was a shame that their relationship had to take the turn that it did, but she just couldn't take it anymore. She had forgiven him after the Heather kiss, partially due to when she had gotten to see that episode. Then there were all the events of season two that just seemed to want them to end. With him throwing challenges and that whole number nine obsession had started to weird her out. She couldn't take it anymore and, while it hurt to get rid of him, she felt that she had no other option. Although, now that she looked back on it, simply talking to him could have had far more fruitful results.

After she broke up with Trent, Gwen felt lonely and lost again, wishing she had someone to help fill the void. That was where Duncan came in, and once she began to take interest in him, her world changed. Outwardly, the two had a lot more in common than she did with the musician. They both had similar styles, wanting to rebel against what society wanted them to conform to. That combined with their love of horror movies and the fact that they were still broken up over their former loves, it seemed that they were destined to be together. Their progress was slowed, however, when they were unfortunately dragged into a third season.

Once the punk left in the second episode, Gwen felt broken again, looking for some form of consolation. Consolation that she found in one of the most unlikely sources: Courtney. Obviously, it was more than somewhat awkward to be best friends with someone whose boyfriend you were crushing on, but with Duncan out of the game it wasn't an issue. Then he came back and that threw everything out of whack. Sure she gained a boyfriend but she also lost a best friend, no, a sister.

Things stayed that way for quite some time, with her and Duncan enjoying their newfound relationship while dodging a psychotic Courtney. And, since Sierra can't keep her mouth shut, they had to deal with haters who wanted Gwent and Dourtney back. It went on for about a year, and only stopped once Gwen dropped Duncan. He ended up driving her crazy too, with his nonstop want for Courtney's attention; it was obvious that he was still hung up on her. From the Goth's point of view, it seemed that no matter what guy she dated they would all end up going bonkers.

Then of course there was her brief re-friendship with Courtney, the two bonding over how miserable Duncan was losing both of them. The dark angel hadn't felt that giddy since she was younger, finally having girl friend to hang out with. She felt that she had met her long lost sister after years of being apart. She had a gal pal to buddy around with and felt that she could actually have a connection with someone without them being crazy. Alas, it wasn't meant to be, as Courtney did something that Gwen never thought she would do. Courtney had planned to betray her.

Memories of Tyson assaulted her mind again, the familiar sting of the metaphorical knife in her back impaling a wound that still needed to heal. From that moment on, it was confirmed for Gwen that she couldn't trust anyone. At least not anyone from this god forsaken show. It seemed that because of what she did back in world Tour, she was left without a leg to stand on, and no one to help her. Gwen was isolated, exiled from everyone else and seemingly denied her happily ever after.

Fitting enough, she was the scary Goth girl; she wasn't supposed to be happy. Why had she put herself out there when she knew the risks? Didn't she ever learn that people were horrible creatures who would sooner cut your throat before lending you a helping hand? As she stepped out of her shower and slip into her sleep wear, the pale beauty's icy resolve commenced in reconstruction.

None of _their _opinions mattered anymore, this time, she would look out for her and only her. If they wanted someone to crucify, they would have to find another scapegoat because Gwen. Was. Done. Forget them, forget them all, and forget all of humanity. All she needed was her family and old friends, new people were not allowed. A smirk spread across her face as she settled into her covers, her mind set on her future. Even if she never won this show, her contract would be over soon and she could be free to get back to her life.

No more dealing with these whiners, players and back stabbing liars. She would go back home, finish school, get job and put herself into college. They thought that Gwen was a nobody and would achieve nothing, they would see, and they all would pay. No one was going to hurt her, not again.

_Well, that was my story __**Shattered and Alone**__, and I hoped you liked it. This turned out way longer than I thought it would and took longer too. It seems to be a part of this random one shot series I have going on at the moment that I have no idea how it started. Oh well, guess it's just my love of writing and how much I want to get my theories out there. Once again, I hope you like it and, if you have a character from the show that you would like me to do, either review this story or PM me. On a side note, I may be going away for a while and will be away from my computer. This will cause me to be unable to update anything. Sorry for that guys, maybe I'll come up with something on my trip, type it up, and update it when I get back. Until next time, bye my babies. Mwah._


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